Stand Up #2

Stand up Comedy themes to follow:

1) Buying a wife on eBay.
Variations: russian, Jewish, sex doll, sister, life styles (party animal, home body, pierced Noir, To Catch a Preditor. sex slavery trade, neighbor (link in with # 2)Noisy Neighbors), descriptions (as car, model, bicycle, couch, etc), shipping & handling charges?, Buy NOW! price vs. bid, "new vs. Used", .

1a) I'm going online to meet women. I tried the chat rooms. Met a FEW nice women... And the folks from TCAPreditor! So I turned to the site that is ranked as very safe... ebay. These sellers had the best rating! Super feedback! And!... promised very few rope burns on the wrists and ankles!

2) Noisy neighbors
Variations: surprise-home construction business (building pre-built house in driveway, snow shovel truck at 4am ( good thing-does mine!), truck turns wide into drive, digs out corner of lawn, Cops @ 3am, little dogs yapping, cutting and piling wood (night?), 14 cars in the driveway (2 trucks & a van), good things-pretty girlfriends, snow shovel, neighborhood gossip, lots of teenage kids-cops, cars, girls, loud music, cussing, driveway auto repair,

2a) So I bought a house! Yes, thank you, it was a wonderful opportunity. And my new neighbor has a construction business. I'm thinking... maybe I can get some tips on home repair? So I settle into my home and all is well. The neighbors driveway is right between our two houses, under my window... Leads to the garage in the back. Never had that before, but what could be so bad?? Ever tried to sleep next to an auto repair shop?? Air guns - bzzzzzz-bzzzz-bzzzz, jack hammers, chukkkkkkk, air lifts - sssszzzzsssszzzzsss,... I know, I know, this is AMERICA! A person can do what he darn well pleases! After all, it's HIS driveway! HIS property! So, as a nice new neighbor, I softly mentioned to him out the window, The SUN will be UP in LESS THAN AN HOUR, would you mind WAITing a bit??

'nuff